Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Lonely mum

Hi Everyone

I have had this post sitting for a couple of days and I am still wondering if it should be posted or not and whether anyone will take offence to it.....and I am sorry if you do it is not my intent at all.

But I have a friend who keeps telling me not to care what other think and so I am going to take her advice.....thank miss Melbourne person....you know who you are.

I would like to say Thank you to my friends and those people who have become family as they have been there for me.....many of you do not live close by or I will never meet.

This is something I have been thinking lately and it may not be a big deal to anyone else or they may not feel it or maybe they do....will have to wait and see.

I am a lonely mum......I have friends but for some reason I still feel lonely and I can not put my finger on the reason why.

Maybe as most of my mummy friends work either part time or full time and simply do not have enough time to spend together as they are very busy with the whole work/family balance and I can completely understand why they do not have the time.....and just between you and me why would they want to hear about my day at home doing the boring stuff when they have been trying to get everything cooked and cleaned with the time they have.....I also have all day to get that stuff done where they maybe trying to do it all in a 2 hr window.

I very rarely go out and if I do I always think about the kids and hubby first....I do not do spontaneous things ever......don't get me wrong I will always put my kids and hubby first I do not know a mum who does not. That is why I decided that once a month I would do something for me....but it is always planned around family and hubby's activities.

Maybe I also feel this way because I do not have a mum to call whenever it get tough, so I battle through on my own,as I do not want to bother friends and often by the time they have replied to messages I have sorted it out and moved on.

It probably stems back to me being an only child so I had to grow up quickly and have self resilience from an early age....no one to bounce things off of and let's face it.....what teenage bounced ideas off there parents.

So does anyone else feel that way you do not need to be a mum you can just be a women who seem to have a herd of people around them but still feel lonely or am I just being crazy....be honest I can take it.

Here is an article I found interesting to read.

Until next post.


Wednesday, April 8, 2015

What door do you choose?

Hi everyone

I am writing this while the kids play happily around me(not sure how long that will last for) Easter/Term 1 school holidays here and will say I am missing the routine of school and what I need to do each day. But that is not what this blog post is about.

I found something on another blog that I follow and it left me wondering what I really think about me and how hard we are on ourselves as women.

I have the put the video here for you to have a look at:

So what do you think?

I personally would choose to walk away I could not choose any door as I do not see myself as beautiful or average I am not sure what I am to be honest. I have always been on the larger size and I have a pretty big butt, small waist. Yes think Kim Kardashian butt.

So whenever I lose weight I lose it from my waist first which make my butt look bigger oh the joys of life. And somehow I always lose motivation to continue as I do not have a friend to push me and personal training would be great but is too expensive for this stay at home mum.

I also have never been told I was beautiful so I guess I do not believe it, I know I should but I just don't......and here I am trying to teach my boys to compliment there partners when they get to that age and I am always telling them they are beautiful, strong and amazing and their mum does not believe it.....so great mum I am being to them and a hypocrite too. I have always had a low self esteem and that leads back to I guess being told that my butt was big or my double chin is huge and that was from family members...so here I am trying to build my children self esteem up while trying to also I guess build mine up as well.......we all know kids just say what they mean and do not think before the words come out.

So this is my latest profile pic on Facebook and I hate selfies....I have also booked myself in to have a professional photo session done and I really do not know why I did that....maybe I was having a moment as I look around I have no photos of me(except wedding picture, only a few in my house). Or maybe I wanted my boys to see me being brave.....I have no idea, again my self esteem issues kick in.

So what door would you choose?

Until next time

Bye xx