Celestial birthday

Hi
I know it has been ages since I wrote and maybe that is a good thing.

As I approach my mums celestial birthday on Monday.....has been 10 years since my mum passed away (in saying that she actually fell sick 9yrs earlier, so I may have lost her before she passed away) I keep thinking WOW.....has it been that long and then I think I have been married that long too.....

But back to my mum's celestial birthday I am thinking lately about the mum she was and the mum I am, and I can see lots of similarities in the way I parent my kids to the way I remember she used to be and I am not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing......sometime both to me.

I have 2 children who are the polar opposite of each other and sometimes I wish they could be not so far apart on the behaviour range, but that is just what I was dealt and still getting used to and also it changes daily and sometimes hourly.

My mum was tough but fair, I seem to feel like I had everything on my shoulder being an only child..I had no one before me to soften my parents up and no one after me....so I seem to have to be everything that my parents want and sometime more.....which is very hard when you are trying to just find out who you are as a person.....I have also grown up to have a thick shell and to be stubborn and determined because that is what my mother instilled in me....some of which I have now passed on to my children....but I also remind them that it is okay to ask for help....which my mum never did (unfortunately she passed that tait on to me too).

In saying that my mum was also fair, as long as I was home or called to tell her where was then that was okay and as an adult I think I only ever pulled one all nighter and that was it....I also let her know when I got home, because like most mums she would never really get in to a deep sleep until I was home.....which I am sure it what I will be like too......still a while away yet....

To say I miss my mum is understatement....and I was doing okay until I fell pregnant and had to go to appointments on my own and many health problems that your mum should be there for (they say we all want our mums when we are sick...I know I did) but when my boys where born....then I think it really hit me....that she was not there to see them grown up and share there achievements with me as a proud grandma.....maybe that is why I do not want to miss any of my children achievement.....you just never know when your time is up. When I was pregnant with my boys I brought a star form the star registry and once a year I will look it up and wish on it...I want my boys to have something not just a photo...so they know she is always looking down on them no  matter what they are doing or where they are (guess knowing they have a star make me also think that when I am not here or they are traveling at least they will know there is a star that is watching over them and hopefully they will find comfort in that......or maybe that is a dream)

I get jealous seeing other mums with there mum and I know that is silly,but it is something that deep down inside hurts quite a lot....but that is just me....and that will never change....

So I guess in closing I just want to wish my mum a great celestial birthday and may your star shine brightly this year.....we will be looking for you, we love and miss you so much. Xx


E
Xx.

PS. what I would give just to talk to her again.

Feeling Bad

Hi Everyone

it has been a while since I wrote and sometime I would like to write more but then I think no one will want to read that.....so I just do not bother and at this stage I am thinking about not blogging anymore.....Lots going through my head at the moments.

First of all I think I am not being a very good wife or mother but maybe I never was in the first place.

Took my little boy to the dr today just thinking he had a bit of ear wax that was stubborn and would not come out and he asked me how long it had been that brown colour and how long he has had it. I said about a week and thought it was just a bit of wax he now tells me that he may have a serious infection in ear and will not know that until the swob he took comes back......so I feel like a great mum.....NOT.

Have joined a very different Facebook group and it has made me realise that maybe my life is not as exciting as some other people's.....in fact mine is pretty boring and very dole in comparison.....make me think I live under a rock....who hoo have my eyes been opened this past week.pm me if you want to know the group....I may just invite you to join.

My Favourite TV show BATB lets just say I am not enjoying this season as much as past ones....I will not stop watching.....but with only a 13 episode season I feel they are trying to pack so much in each episode they are missing on stuff that really need to be there....but that is just my opinion.....I guess I want more of the romance that was promised......being a huge romantic by heart I guess I need that.

Oh well,better get back to cooking the lasagne for tea and my boys are calling me to play a board game with them. Catch you soon.

E. 

Xx

Ideas please?

Hi Everyone


Today I am looking for some advice on what top I should wear with the skirt in the picture.
I need it to be plane friendly as I will be travelling to Melbourne for the day to attend a wedding, now apparently it is a very low key affair, but I would like to be comfortably but dressed appropriately as I will be doing lots of sitting in planes and trains.


I am wearing my knee high black boots for warmth and as you will not see them anyway, I will not need to take another pair of shoes.

So what top would you wear with this skirt(yes like the top in picture, but was trying to hide my mummy tummy so really do not want to tuck in to skirt)


Thank you for the advice in advance, will let you know what I choose.


Look forward to hearing your suggestions.

xx E

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waiting Game

Hi everyone

As I am writing this my favourite TV show BATB is premiering in Canada and I am trying to keep busy until links are available to watch.
If you know me by now you would understand that this show is amazing and I have meet so many other people who love this show and we have become friends and to honest a family really. I know that there is a lot of other people who are just as excited as me and am doing the same just trying to wish the time would hurray up.

Well back to what I was going to write about today and that is me thinking about what will happen when my boys are in full time school...I will be going back to work but I really need to find something that works around the boys school hours and has the school holidays off....so the only thing I have come up with is Teachers aide.....I see what is the point of me working and have to pay for child care all my wages would be going towards that....so that seems pointless to me.

Does that sound selfish and if it does I will be honest and say I do not care.

I worked hard to get my boys I want to be the to see as many achievements as possible at least until they tell me I am embracing them being there.....all children should have there achievements celebrated they deserve that much and to me that is a must in being a good mum/parent.

So if you can think of anymore job suggestions for me I will listen.

Well now that that has filled in sometime......well a little bit and I am still thinking about my favourite show I now only have to wait for an hour until I will be able to watch it.

Seeing as we are on the topic of favourite TV shows do you have any must watch shows...you know the ones that you absolutely must watch......you can not miss it.....you all know what mine is and to be honest it is a great show......have you seen it......it stars Jay Ryan and man he is hot and that voice......okay need to stop now.

But just in are you have not seen it, will put up the YouTube pronto for this season.





Have a great day(public holiday here)

PS....I have now seen the episode and I am still not sure what I think about it, may need to watch again with husband before I have a view on it.

Book Nerd......ME

Hi everyone

As I sit here in front of my nice cosy fire watching Play school with my youngest boy on the couch I thought I would write a quick blog post.

I am just enjoying a nice quiet moment today with my little man, he has a cold and so do I which I need to get over before next week as I am off for Day surgery next Wednesday, nothing major just a a very small operation so I hope I will be out by school pick up.

Well back to what I was going to write about. You all know I am a hopeless romantic I have told you about my book boyfriends before.

That has not changed I am really loving the downtime of a nice to escape to my book boyfriends after a full day with my 2 boys. One of them turns 3 in a 16 days then the fun starts with toilet training and everything like that. Think my body needs to just escape and relax and just jump right in to a different world where the boys gets the girl and he pours his heart out....maybe that is something I want to teach my boys to never be afraid of tell someone how you feel.....I have no idea. I muddle through each day and no idea what I am doing most of the time....oh well....see off the topic again.

My escape generally is romantic book with lots of strong men and heroes generally boy saves girl and does the courting of her.....I really am a hopeless romantic......

I am currently reading the 'Men of honour' series by KC Lynn this series was recommended to me by one of my Beastie friends and I love it, so easy to read and I am currently on the third book and this one has slowed me down as I need my tissues nearly every chapter, hubby thinks I have lost the plot.

I also love Bella Andre and Melissa Foster they have some great series very easy to read and pick up put down which is what this mummy needs, as for for some reason I get interrupted heaps.

So what do you like to read?

While I am writing I throughly I would also mention that lately I am getting a lot of questions from people asking me what I will be trying to have a girl, particularly when I say we have 2 boys...why do people ask that I have 2 children that is enough for me. Yes the thought of me not picking our graduation dresses,wedding dresses or holding their hand while they give birth does make me sad, but I found an article lately that I love. So here it is and for all mums of just boys I understand how you may feel sometimes.

Mother of only boys.

So until next time

Thank you for reading my rant.

Elita

Lonely mum

Hi Everyone

I have had this post sitting for a couple of days and I am still wondering if it should be posted or not and whether anyone will take offence to it.....and I am sorry if you do it is not my intent at all.

But I have a friend who keeps telling me not to care what other think and so I am going to take her advice.....thank miss Melbourne person....you know who you are.

I would like to say Thank you to my friends and those people who have become family as they have been there for me.....many of you do not live close by or I will never meet.

This is something I have been thinking lately and it may not be a big deal to anyone else or they may not feel it or maybe they do....will have to wait and see.

I am a lonely mum......I have friends but for some reason I still feel lonely and I can not put my finger on the reason why.

Maybe as most of my mummy friends work either part time or full time and simply do not have enough time to spend together as they are very busy with the whole work/family balance and I can completely understand why they do not have the time.....and just between you and me why would they want to hear about my day at home doing the boring stuff when they have been trying to get everything cooked and cleaned with the time they have.....I also have all day to get that stuff done where they maybe trying to do it all in a 2 hr window.

I very rarely go out and if I do I always think about the kids and hubby first....I do not do spontaneous things ever......don't get me wrong I will always put my kids and hubby first I do not know a mum who does not. That is why I decided that once a month I would do something for me....but it is always planned around family and hubby's activities.

Maybe I also feel this way because I do not have a mum to call whenever it get tough, so I battle through on my own,as I do not want to bother friends and often by the time they have replied to messages I have sorted it out and moved on.

It probably stems back to me being an only child so I had to grow up quickly and have self resilience from an early age....no one to bounce things off of and let's face it.....what teenage bounced ideas off there parents.

So does anyone else feel that way you do not need to be a mum you can just be a women who seem to have a herd of people around them but still feel lonely or am I just being crazy....be honest I can take it.

Here is an article I found interesting to read.
/are-you-lonely-mama

Until next post.

Xx

Deeper in to me.

Hi Everyone

I have been thinking of this post for a couple of days now but everytime I sit down to write it I get interrupted with hubby or children or the thoughts in my head, need to get this out.

Any way I am here now typing away in fact it was a friend who I have meet through our favourite tv show who asked where my new blog post was that has inspired me to write this, this person has been through so much in the last few weeks I take my hat off to her that she is still going and has not gone to hide under her doona by now, I know I would.....well would have before kids as now I have to keep going for them. I would really love to finally meet her one day, and I am hoping this year is the year.

So this post is bit about me and what I have gone through also my mum who I miss everyday
I am an only child and I really did not like it at all, I grew up very quickly. Both my parents were hard but fair parents. My mum was more fair then my dad but I think that is normal to a degree.Also some of the decision I had to make I do not want to wish on my worst enemy.
Life was good until late teens, I had friends, I had a mum who I loved with all my heart we had a good relationship.....well as good as any mum and daughter can be with hormones running through them

Then one Friday night everything changed I went to watch my boyfriend(now husband) play a late night hockey game and I took mum with me.i was 19 year old. She told me she had a stiff neck and I asked if she was ok. She told me she was fine and said that is was okay. We went home that night and she was sick and I was worried, call ambulance and they came and told mum she need to go to the hospital to get checked.....she refused i being stubborn I get that from her, told her I was taken her to get checked we made it 2 min from home and she was unconscious in the car. Anyway we get to hospital and she get looked at when you are taken in to a private room you always know something is not right, you mum has had several annyisum. We will do what we can for her. Next day I was making decisions I should not be making about releasing pressure in my mums head.......I was 19 I just needed my mum do whatever you need to do.

So my mum really never fully recovered from that she lived in a nursing home for 7 yrs as she told me she never wanted to be a burden on me and I hated to see her in there day after day. I think I said good bye to her thousands of times.

The year I got married 2005. She finally had had enough.....I think she knew I would be ok.....she passed away in September of that year.....and to be honest I was sad but knew it was coming. I even went to work the morning of her passing as I was first on in the child care room......I left at lunchtime that day.

While trying to achieve my pregnancies I was also involved in a major car accident(2006) where my father, father in law, hubby and myself were watch Targa Tasmania and a mini lost control and run in to the crowd.....yes right in to my father.....now the same dr that worked on my mother was working to keep my father alive......which they did.....even if that dr has since in formed both my father and I that he took a body bag with him to surgery as he did not think he would survive.

Now my relationship is not crash hot with my father he is very critical of me and take pot shot at me  or about what I have done with my life. But he is still here and I personally think he is here for his grandsons.....they keep him going.

I have had 3 miscarriages and in a very weird thing all those miscarriages happened in the month of September.

I have also had 4 DNC and cancer which you can read about on another blog post I wrote to do (with long road to babies)

I am about to go under the knife again as I have an ovary cyst which they need to get rid of, and to be honest I trust my dr 100% and I actually own my life to her. We have a very special bond.
There is not a day goes by that I do not think of my mum and sometime I cry a lot for her and what she has missed.....mainly as my children will never meet her and that hurts the most..

Crying now,time to say farewell. Promise my next post will be a lot happier. this has been in my head for a while and I think I need to get it out.

Hope I have not made you sad now.
xxx

I am a Hopeless Romantic

Hi
Well it has been a while since I wrote anything and to be honest with not a lot of feedback happening or anything.....I am not sure I wanted to write anything. This is the raw me and very raw it may be.

Maybe I am writing just to make myself feel better I don't really know, so if I rant and vent a bit then please feel free to tell me where to go.....I am so sick of trying to make sure everyone else is okay I have forgotten about ME. This me to a tea today....I AM.......

We have just entered in to Autumn here in Tassie and with the sudden weather change I have both boys sick and me with hayfever. So this mumma is tired and really not feeling like herself at all and personally I hate feeling this way.

So my coping when I feel like this is to

• Dancing.
• Singing very loud and badly.
• Reading romance novels.
• Lots of cuddles from my boys when they do not cough or vomit on me.....(told you long week)

 Dancing what can I say, love it I used to do as a teenage and sometime I wonder why I gave it up and there are day I regret it so much....and I know it is excuse but I have kids and I put there needs before mine and I will always do that.....

Singing....my boys always tell me I sing too much and to loud but I am not going to stop it calms me down and make me feel human again sometimes.

Reading romance novels......this I will admit is my favourite thing to do(for me) nothing like jumping in to bed when the kids are asleep and read a really good romantic story....that you can jump in to and just imagine you in the story....book boyfriend. Will also say I miss the romantic beginnings of a relationship(you know the hugs and hand holding and the little gestures that go with it) after being together for 19 years I know they will not be the same....sometimes they are there really small amounts but you know what I mean......or is it just me.

Last but not least: Cuddles from my boys: there is nothing like your children's arms around your neck,leg or any other part they can get hands around. Nothing like hearing them tell you they love you, and you will always be there first love....no matter how big they get they will always be your babies. I want to raise my boys to treat girls/ladies/women with respect and old time manners eg opening doors both on buildings and cars, pulling chairs out and picking them up at door not just beeping the horn.

Well that is my rant/vent for this week anyway. Back to dancing and singing loudly and cleaning up yucky noses and other things.

Bye for now.

ME time and FSOG

Hi Everyone

It has been 2 weeks since my last post and I am not sure what that is maybe because I have kids still on school holidays here and I have been spending time with them...or maybe I did not think I had anything interesting to say to you.....

Remember one of my goals for this year was to do something just for me once a month, take better care of me.....that way I can take care of my boys and be happier too.....so the month of February I am.........

Well first of all I am going to warn you about this post some people will like it some people will hate it and not want to read it but oh well I am still happy to hear negative thoughts on it.

I will admit in the last week I have become obsessed with FSOG (Fifty Shades Of Grey) yes the book and the movie due out in 17 days(yes on countdown here) I love it and when I need a pick me up I will watch a tv spot(30second) and then I am back to happy me. I really do not know why

So confess who has read the books? Did you make it through all 3 or did you stop and never went back.

When I first saw who was playing Christian and Anastasia I was not impressed and I through I will just wait until it come out on DVD to see it. But after watching Jamie in OUAT (Once upon a time season 1 episodes 1-7) I thought he would be good, then the trailers came out and I went okay but the more I watched the trailers the more I want to see, he has the looks and the smothering eyes to  match what I through Christian would be like.

Now I can not stop watching the trailers and tv spots, have seen heaps of interviews where they talk about the film and other things. I have my tickets to gold class to see it, if anyone wants to join me(taking hubby as well) then that fine the more the merrier.

It has been a while since I have felt this excited about something and I think this is great......might be a bit obsessed but I say whatever make me look forward to something as a mum then I am happy.

I will go on the defence of the books and say yes the writing is not at good but I loved it, and there are people out there who say it is 'mummy porn' well it might be but when I read all 3 of the books I soon realise that Anastasia did not have to do any of the things she did she was in control of the situation, she also helped Christian to see what he really needed and that people do not abandon you when you need them the most. Anastasia showed Christian very early on that he was special and she was not going to take crap from him. If I can teach one thing to my children it would be empathy and assertiveness which is what I see when I read these books. Some people might see something else......what do you think of them?  

Will include a trailer and one of my favourite tv spots for you to check out.....please let me know what you think?

International Trailer

One of the tv spots...............so hard to choose one


So let me know what you think of all of this hype.....me personally so excited.

Later  xxx

First week of my 2015 Goals

Hi everyone

I hope you have all had a great week.

My week has been a little up and down and feeling a little emotional but has been good despite that.

 Had been busy as usual enjoying the school holidays with my boys. My oldest son has had a few days away with his grandparents which has been great and lovely and quiet....and I have not had to answer any questions which seem to be all he does lately and if I do not have the answers or tell him that I will get the answer for him then he reminds me if I forget. I love how he want to know things but he asks me things even sometimes I would not even think he understands.

I must admit when he returned after 2 days he asked a lot so he made up for the time that he was not with me but then the behaviour went a bit off the show and he has been quite rude and demanding which is a little hard to take but that is ok he did get a lot of one on one when he was away and now he has to put up with sharing and waiting until I am not too busy to get him what he wanted.

 I have started my plans for this year I am so happy about that. I have a note in the front of my diary that reminds me of my goals for this year and I plan to stick to them.

I went out for a great lunch yesterday with some wonderful ladies, we laughed, talked and shared secrets as well as a lovely glass of wine and a great long lunch which I miss so much after having the children.

We went to a lovely little restaurant in Sandy Bay. It had a great menu and great atmosphere. It was just so fantastic to get out without the kids and have some adult girly time. Now I just need to make a date for next months lunch somewhere just as nice......so any ladies want to join just let me know we are always looking for new friends and if you need to get away from the family for a few hours then you are welcome to join us.

This morning I also started to exercise more, have taken a photo of what I was pushing. I had the pram, boy in pram and my oldest son on the skateboard attached to the pram. .....so a good amount of weight I pushed for 30 min. The oldest son took some photos so he would not get too bored.

I am even going to do a yoga program I found for my iPad called fit star yoga when the boys have a sleep and rest it is free and guides you through the program will let you know how that goes.Then I might just sit in the sun and read a book for a while after I book my tickets to see "Fifty shades of grey".......that's important right...

Love this blog post on Fat Mum Slim today 15-ordinary-things-2015/ Have a look at it see what you think.

Well signing off as I am writing this while playing with the kids at the park. Have a great week.

Xx

Goals for 2015....What are yours?

So here it is my first blog post for 2015.

I really was not sure if I was going to write anymore posts as I was not getting any real feedback, but I decided to continue this as it is a way I can document things that happen even if it is just for my boys to read later in life or something for me to look back on.

So 2015 I am hoping/planning will be a great year and a year that I also look after me as well as my boys.

This year I plan and hoping to achieve:

• Some regular girly time (which I am starting this weekend)
• Look at studying (certificate 3 in education support)
• One on one time with my children (mummy son dates)
• Some more exercise
• De-clutter my house (may be dreaming with this one)

Don't get me wrong I will always put my children before my own needs but I am going to give it a shot to do both, my boys are older enough now that I can leave them and they know I will come back. And I find when I get even a few hours away from them I find the tolerance level is much better and I get a thousand questions about what I did or have been when I return.

I also need to take some time and spend one on one with my boys...they are growing up so fast. I have a boy who is in prep this year and to be honest I can not believe that....school 5 days a week ...WOW....that also means I need to do the school runs 5 days and week and would it be weird to say I am looking forward to it....I love how he seems to love telling me what happened at school and how excited he is to see me....and I am hoping that will never change.....but deep down I know it will.....so I guess I am enjoying it while I can. The other thing is I am a member of an amazing playgroup or Launch into Learning program with my other son....we are like a family and it is truly wonderful.

I am scared to go back in to study I have not studied in so long and not sure I even remember how to anymore and I know that sounds silly, sometime I am in two frames of mind whether I can do it or not and I do not even know if I would get a job at the end of it....but if I can find the course that will fit in with my family then I would give it a go, also the right price(which I found to be so expensive online and I probably need to do that for now as classroom setting would not suit the family)

Well that was bigger then I thought it would be for the start of 2015. Let me know if you have any goals for 2015 maybe we can help each other achieve some of them. Mumma's need to help each other. Have a great week

Chat soon.

 

Merry Christmas to you.

Hi Everyone

So I have this will be my last blog post for the year.Not writing as much as I am really not getting out of it what I thought I would.....so will be thinking about continuing it in new year.

I really am not sure what to write so it could've a bit of everything, I have quite a bit in my mind at the moment and I am hoping writing this will calm me down a bit.

Is it just me or has people lost the art of writing Christmas cards, my mother always wrote heaps of cards always seemed so many to me as a child......and I think this is where I get this from.

I love receiving anything in the mail that is not bills and I personally will encourage my children to do this......it does not take that long to sit down and write (dear,merry Christmas and your name in a card)......so why are we receiving none or very little in the post.......Am I weird or do I need to move with the times.

Another thing that is on my mind is how busy we all get over this month before Christmas I know I have something on everyday this week and it is really stressing me out a bit......next year I think I may make Christmas smaller and not as busy.....or maybe I need to say NO more often. I am not on to organise my children to have something on every weekend they deserve some downtime and I have tried to do this during this Christmas season but it seem to have not worked. NOTE to self try harder.

This year for Christmas Day it will just be our little family, all the grandparents seem to be busy or are not even in the state, which is ok but we will have heaps of food left over so must remember not to buy too much food. Kids feel a little disappointed but they will be fine when they open presents on Christmas morning.

Today I am feeling disappointed that I had to pay a sum of money (weeks out from Christmas) that will not be used until February 2015. I understand a holding fee but not a full amount particularly when they will be getting interest from that money.

Well rant over.

Hope everyone has a great Christmas and New Year.    

Elita xx

Family Traditions

Hi Everyone

Has been a while since I wrote but that is because I have been sick and really I am not getting the support I thought I would.....so feel a little let down/disappointed....but that is just me.(moving on)

Anyway leading up to this festive season (ahead) I am writing about any family traditions you may have and if you are introducing any or new ones this year does not have to be about Christmas just things you do together.

I am writing this while feeding lunch to master 2 before nap time and I can not wait for the brownies that are currently cooking to be ready.....I need a brownie coma today.

So back to traditions that you do.

We have started to do Pizza Friday here....we make the pizza base(very simple recipe...pizza dough)
and then adding whatever we find in fridge or pantry.....so far it has been great. the boys are loving choosing what goes on the pizza and they are loving the base too.......I am hoping I can keep this going well in to the boys growing up and even if I am feeding a small army of friends if they are home before going out this will make me so happy...... I like to dream anyway.

Last year for Christmas we introduced an Elf on the shelf (JT Vincent) the boys loved him.....they would jump out of bed every morning to see where JT would appear. Will admit we loved to make him do naughty things as well as special things......we had just as much fun as the kids. If you do not know about the Elf on the shelf he arrives on the December 1st and every night he reports back to santa about the kids behaviour and then reappears in a different spot each morning.....sometime he get up to bad things.....example of our elf below. This will continue for a few years yet.

I also want to add that this year has just flew by my Master 5 will soon be at school 5 days and week not just 3 days and he loves school which I am so happy about.....now just got to stop the attitude and we will be right.

I am hoping to start another tradition next year that does not involve my family but my friends that we go and have lunch at least once a month.....we get so busy as mums.....we need to slow down and have that time just for us.....only need to be 2 hours......but that is my time(not going to feel guilty for it) I am even going to write it in my diary so it becomes an appointment just for me.....so if you would like to join me let me know.

So what traditions do you have or are you starting some this year....would love to hear them. 

Have a great Monday.....I am going back to my brownie coma now.....ahhhh

 
Elita xxxx

My Pregnancies(read if you would like too)

Hi Everyone

Hope the weekend was good mine was fantastic, I know I said I would write about this a while back but have only just remembered that I would do.....and today I am not sure what else to write about...have a mind block....so if you do not want to read it that is fine by me.

So I have 2 beautiful boys...well sometime a bit hard to handle but what children are not sometime.

So lets start with Master 5 which I will say was a very hard and scary pregnancy after my cancer treatment. I would get worried about every pain or anything else I would feel. Morning sickness lasted all day and I still worked with children and changed nappies so that did not help, I was exhausted by the end of the day and I came home ate tea and went straight to bed.

At 12 weeks my blood test came back with an overactive thyroid was started on thyroid medication 2 time daily which can cross the placenta but you need to have them and also monthly blood test even got down to weekly blood tests so much fun but had a great dr. to help me with that.....now never had a thyroid issues until I had that thyroid storm with my cancer(read my other motherhood post for all those details)  I had a forward facing placenta so I felt no movement until about 19 weeks with him, which worried me as everyone keep asking me any movement yet....which I would reply "no".

 I had a pretty big scare at 24 weeks I had a bleed and it was not a small bleed so admitted to hospital and told that if it does not stop I would need to deliver my baby....who would not survive......I remember laying in the hospital bed tell my little man to stay there that the world is not that great at the moment and was better in side then out in this world.....he must of listened he stayed there for now.

I got to week 25 and was wondering where my baby belly was I had nothing just looked fat and horrible my obgyn told me that may never get one....(larger lady) I so wanted that belly and then by the time 34 weeks came I had a small one but only if you looked at me from the side and then I would have to really hold my top down for you to see it. As I worked with children I was put on bed rest from 30 weeks and I got so sick of laying on the couch watching daytime tv.

I went for my 36 week appointment and that when the worried look started....your baby has not grown any.....I went should I be worried.....she told me to go home and rest and she would see me next week.....I remember the next Wednesday I had the first appointment of the day....hubby told me to take my bag and I told he do  not be silly will not need that......should have taken it did not come home....my little man had stopped growing and would need to come out....so back in to hospital and then hooked up to machines and other things......the following day my little man was born at 6pm via C-section and was quickly rushed away to nicu he sent the night in humidity crib as he was so small at just 6 pound. Obgyn came in and told me we where luck that he was born he might not have been with us if we had left him unable to feed him myself so with heartbreak I bottled fed him....6 nights in hospital with him to make sure he was putting on weight....so lucky to have master 5.

So now master 2, my pregnancy with him was very similar to master 5 and was told my obgyn that maybe pregnancy did not agree with me. morning sickness was the same and cooking tea was horrible and knowing I needed to eat it went against everything that I want to do. plus I had a toddler that I need to deal with he was 2 when I was pregnant. Again I had a front placenta (so on movement until 25 weeks which was very normal) and thyroid issue which that picked up at 19 weeks so back on the medication for that....which was fun more blood tests and reporting to dr. and I had to do this with a toddler in tow......fun times and lots of freddo's were eaten while mummy had appointments.......great mummy skills....LOL.

Because I was able to rest a little more at home while my toddler played my later half of my pregnancy went well I was booked for a C-section again (safest way for me to have children because of my thyroid)
Went to hospital on the day my operation was happening and I remember thinking this feel weird but I got a chance to say good bye to my toddler while he went to stay with his grandparents for the stay in hospital I arrived early morning but would not being going down until about 1:30pm hubby got his lunch brought to him while I watched him eat it....looked so good. Off to theatre straight in and my master 2 was delivered by 2 pm again a small baby 6 pound 2 oz was able to hold him while they stitched me up then back upstairs to meet one set of grandparents.....off to get cleaned up as he was getting a little cold with me. After an hr I wondered where he was so hubby went to check on him....after about 30 min I had regained enough feeling in toes to sit up and wonder where he was then he came back and told me that he has been kanga caring with our son he was in a humidity crib and would be there until his temp was normal and he could hold that temp for 6 hrs......following morning came and I was allowed to shower and walk down to see my little boy in NICU that walk is hard as I did not know what I would be facing.....the staff knew me straight away and welcomed me like I was a friend not a parent.....love that.

I was able to hold him and gave him a feed (bottle as I produced no milk due to thyroid problems and obgyn told me so hard the 2nd time and with a toddler so she made the decision for me...love that too) then was told he needed to stay with them in nicu because they are waiting for blood test to come back....and hr later my fears really kicked in.......my boy had an infection(sepsis) and he need to be on a drip.......ahhh he is one day old WTF........but I did what my paediatrician suggested it took over 2 hrs to get the drip in and then he would have to stay in ICU so I had people visiting me and no baby for them to hold they were not allowed to see him, his big brother only saw him for about 30 seconds......so hard seeing your baby with a drip in and a nasal tube too. The staff were wonderful they would come a get me when he needed a feed or change....even in the middle of the night.....sometime they would bring him down to me and just sit with me for 30 mins so I could hold him out of the nursery....because he had an infection I also got treated with antibiotics and we found out that perhaps I had been leaking fluid for a few days before the C-section. So 6 days on the drip for my tiny man and then another few days to make sure he was taking the bottle well and putting on weight....so in totally 9 days in hospital I was so happy to be going home.....my little man slept and drank well......now he is a very full on 2 yr old.

I will be having no more children my obgyn will not allow it and that is fine by me...I just hug and get my baby fix from other people children's....that works for me.

ok so that it it.....anyone want to share there stories feel free I would love to hear them.

Elita xxx

Wind Down Time

Hi everyone

I didn't get to write earlier in the week as I would normally do.

Hope everyone is well and that you have had a great week so far. My week as been really good my oldest son's class presented assembly at school and he also received a certificate for his improved writing skills. I am so happy with the way he has progressed this year at school I am so happy I sent him to this school now and not the other one we had in mind. His start to schooling has been great and I too have had great experiencing meeting new friends.

I did a e-course on how to be an Abundant mumma and I will admit I really throught I was mad and I would get nothing out of it......I was so wrong I learnt I need to take moments throughout the day for me could be just 5 min or even the whole day( I will always put my children before anything else that is just be and how I feel about parenting) Link to her site is http://www.abundantmama.com/ some of the articles I swear she knew just how I was feeling, have a look at the site and let me know what you think. Now to todays post.

This blog post is not about that it is to find out what everyone like to do during there(let's call it) 'wind down time' as sometime I have to do it when I still have kids around.

I do love nap time in my house, that is my time and for those 2 hours they are just for me nothing in
 the house gets done.....and I mean nothing no cleaning, washing or cooking.

So what do I do during that time I do lots of things really.

Watch TV show that I love and you already know what ones I really love. I could certainly watch Beauty and the Beast all day if I was allowed but my kids have show they would like to watch and that seems to take over my tv, I am one of these people who the tv goes on in the morning and does not turn off until the kids go to bed.....I know very wrong my kids do not watch it all day it is really background noise they know what show they would like to watch they will stop and watch the but then they would go back to playing with lego or outside(which they love) the other tv shows I love and simply must watch are Reign and Arrow. Stephen Amell need I say more.....now we do not get these show on Australian tv so I watch online which I know is very naughty but what else an I do to get to see them I would wait months for the box set to come out

So back to wind down time, I read trashy romance novels not so much mills and boons I have moved on from them. I do love a good romantic story with male wooing the female and everything is great forever and after. I am currently reading Melissa foster after I have finished all of Bella Andre books for now and to make that complete a glass of wine never goes to waste...any suggestions are most welcome

I also make cards when I am in a creative mood, cross stitch gets started but seems to never get finished.

So what do you like to do.....would love to hear something different or do you even get wind down time.

Look forward to hearing from you soon

Elita. Xx

Do you raise your voice?

Hi everyone

Quick blog post today as it is school holidays and I am trying to be there for my kids and not on the computer or ipad too much, so we can enjoy the holidays. This morning we went for a great bush walk as my 5 yr old wanted to do that when the holidays started so that is what I am doing just trying to spend as much time with my children before they do not want to spend time with me.

Now I also need to confess as you all know I am doing an e-course on becoming a more abundant mumma and I will say I am loving this course, it has made me really think about a lot of thing and the way I parent my children.

I will admit I was one of those mums who would yell when the children do something wrong and I know it never worked to yell but I did it anyway, there are time I would talk to them and get down at there level but then they would go and do the the same thing over again, which frustrated me ALOT.

I decided I need to do something about it when my master 5 yelled back at me one day 'I hate you, you always yell at me' I nearly cried the and then but I did wait until I was out of range or they were asleep and I did I cried like a baby.....how could I let it get to that point, I felt so ashamed.

So I decided I would stop doing it and I found it hard until I found my e-course and yes there are days  when I sometimes raise my voice but not in the way I did before.

My boys seem so much happier now and my hubby helps with the kids a lot more, my 5yr old now tells me I am fun sometimes which is great to hear from him,so I must be doing something right.

Well below I have a link to some idea to help if you are interested back to my e-course need to do today's lesson as I have been away all morning.

Hope you are all having a great Monday.

Elita xxx

http://www.firefliesandmudpies.com/2013/08/26/mommy-meltdowns/

Bit of everything today

Hi Everyone

Hope your weekend was good, mine was great.

Well for today's post it is a bit of everything, I am feeling so proud of myself and I will explain that later.

So let begin at the weekend so this weekend was the AFL Grand final here in Australia and my husbands team was playing so I can tell you that our tv was on from 9 am and was not turned off until after 8pm that night. We had a few drinks and sat back to enjoy the day (anyone in America to us in Australia it would be the same as your super bowl weekend) it really was a one sided game in the end with the Hawthorn hawks wining.....back to back premierships. So one very happy husband and he was like that all weekend. got lots of job done off the to do list as he was so happy he just did them.

I did lots of baking yesterday. cooked brownies, pizza for tea and rolls. it was a busy day in my kitchen but so much fun, lots of mess and flour on tops, floor and carpet. Will remember the day for the fun we had.

Today is the start of school holidays here and lets just say my children are all over the emotional scale. one minute happy one minute fighting and very loud. My 5 yr old need to be entertained so I have made a jar with different things to do in it to keep him entertained seems to be working so far. My 2 yr old is loving having his big brother home but that also means he has to share and try not to annoy his brother which I can say he is loving doing to him.

We are going to do a planner after rest/sleep time so we know what we are doing and so my 5 yr old know when we are going out or staying home. Also so this mum can see when she needs money and when she doesn't as I have found school holidays can be expensive if I let it be.

So to my proud moment today. better tell you back story first. my son's ipad was still running ios 6 ( I know who is still running that, needed to delete games and did not have the heart to do that too them) so today I thought I could update via the computer would not take ups so many MB's so I deleted a few things not that my son's know yet. And like you do I googled how to do it.

As I was hooking the ipad up I was hoping it would work and thinking please do not lose all the games or I think I would have very upset children to deal with. my first hurdle was the fact was the ipad was not charging but syncing fine so after googling that we moved on to the next step.

So after an hour and a half finally the ipad is updated with the lastest ios 8 and my boys is happy as he can finally watch iview as it was not working before...so mum fixed it and now I have one happy boy the things we do for our children......very proud mummy and a HUGE Thank you to google.....I know I would be lost doing something like that without it.

Off to open a few parcels that came for me today. one with scrapbooking cards in it.....love getting parcels...... in fact if anyone is interested in joining me I have joined up for the Fat Mum Slim gift exchange. Here is the link: http://fatmumslim.com.au/fat-mum-slim-gift-exchange-2014-join-us/ if you want to join me I think it is a fantastic idea to brighten someone's Christmas up. So who is joining me would love to know.

Hope you all have a great day and school holidays to everyone in Tasmania.
Elita

xxx

Friendship part 2

Hi

Hope your weekend was good, I had 2 sick children so not fun for me but hopefully on mend now.

So today I lost a friend or she may not have been quite a friend yet....I really do not know.

So why am I feeling terrible about it.

Let me tell you a little about the friend I like to be. I am a straight shooter.....yes I am probably the person you hate or dislike. I do not mess around I talk openly and honestly and that is the way I like to spoken to in return.

I am my mother daughter I do not much around. Sometime I think it is a great thing and other times I wish I could hold back but it is not I my nature to do that......I guess I leant from a very young age that you need to be honest....maybe being an only child and having no children to chat too just adults did this I am not sure.

To be honest I really did not know her very well and what I understand she can change her mind every day with what she want to do.

Now I am going to let you in a secret when I was in high school I was bullied not at school but on the way home on the bus. I would always sit with a friend......at least I throughout she was a friend but I leant quickly maybe she was not.

Anyway back to being bullied. I would leave my bag under the chair and the girl would would bully me would pull my bag from under the chair and spit in my lunch box or down the side of my bag anywhere she thought I would put my hand. Is was horrible and I did not say a word I just sat there and took it....even my friend did not say anything.....and now thinking back to that now I guess she was worried it might happen to her so she keep quiet.

At night I cried and tried to clean my bag out before my mum saw it. In the end I moved to the front of the bus so she could not do it anymore.....but of course I felt alone and did not know what else to do....still make me cry today thinking about it.

I know how could a person like me be bullied but it show it can happen to anyone.....maybe that is why I now seem to be honest and a straight talker now. I really do not know.

So maybe I drove her away with my honesty, I will never know because she will not let anyone in or let anyone know how she is feeling.....

Ok enough of me going on about it....can not do anything now.i have a great bestie who is an amazing person and is a sister I never had. So I would do anything for her. So thank you and you know who you are.

Have a great week, back to my e-course now.

Elita

Xxx    

Time for me

Hi everyone

Hope your weekend was good.

This week I have started a couple of new things that are just for me.

Do not get me wrong. I am so grateful for my husband and children but when someone asked me my dreams the other week I could not tell them anything. I have a bucket list which I am starting to cross things off of you all know that I have a post written about it. I spent the next few days thinking about a dream and come up with nothing.......so I thought maybe it was time to find me the women behind 3 children(yes I include hubby in that too)

I love my children to the moon and back and so much more, but somewhere in trying to be a good mum and wife, looking after my children.......I think I lost me the women. I find myself getting grumpy quickly and have a very short fuse for things that should not brother me.

So for the next month this is what I am doing to find me again, the fun me.

http://www.abundantmama.com/

I am planning on becoming an Abundant mama. I came across this website by accident one day and I read some of her blog post and I found myself nodding with them....then I noticed she ran an e-course so I read what she is cover and I will admit I sat on the decision for over 2 weeks which is not like me at all......mummy guilt about wether I should spend it on me or am I just being silly.

I thought what harm can it do and so I went for it. So if I am not here much I am finding me the fun mumma I want to be again. My children deserve that after all it will not be long before they will not want me around on the weekend.....but that is a whole different post.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Feel free to leave comment.

Have a great Monday.

Elita xx

Nap/Rest Time: What do you do?

Okay so lets chat about what you do during Nap/rest time

I so LOVE nap/rest time the 2 hours I get is wonderful and I need them not only for my sanity but I think it is the only time I get to be by myself and to do anything I want and not be interrupted.

I am one of those mums who has always had a routine and my first son loved it her know what was happening and when it was going to happen. I am flexible but I would make appointments around nap/rest time even when they were babies. I spent time in the mother baby unit and learnt fairly quickly that a baby will sleep better in the same environment.....and that to me was bed.

When I only had one child and we dropped to 3 sleeps a day at 6 months I did let him sleep in the pram a few days a week as I enjoyed the walk out to my hubby and I only did that a couple of times a week.....as I found if you changed routine too much it took a few days to get back into it again.

My first son was in a single bed from 2 yr old and have never had any trouble with him coming out numerous times at night.

So when my second boy came along I found a routine worked very well with him too....I used the things I had been taught in the MBU like a newborn should only be up 1 hr before they need sleep that included feeding time....this helped to avoid overtired and I learnt very quickly an overtired baby is hard to settle and feed.

Both my boys love routine and I am so happy about that....we all do the same thing every morning as adults so why not help our children too

So will stop ranting now.

When my boys are napping or resting........yes I am one of those mums my 5 yr old still goes to his room and has a rest he will play the ipad or read, it need to be quiet and stay in his room until 2pm then he come outs

While my boys are napping and resting I am catching up on tv shows I love which means Beauty and the Beast, Arrow and Reign (all CW shows too) or I am chatting to a friend on Facebook, I eat bad food normally and enjoy a hot drink, read a book, write/read a blog(like I am doing today)  It is time for me time for my brain to switch off and not have to think about answering any questions or watching what I say. I do not do any housework...that has always been my rule and I try to encourage my friends who have children to do this too.....you need to sit and breath sometimes.

The silence to be me is great, sometime I even can sneak an extra 20 min on to nap/rest time but lately since my 5 yr old can tell the time he come out right on 2pm and we are back to it again.

What do you do during nap/rest time, do you have a sleep too or it that your house keeping time?

Let me know.......I love hearing what everyone else does

Have a great rest time....what I have left anyway 

Elita xxx